Practice

Click, click, click, click...

The metronome relentlessly keeps time, marking not only the beat, but every hesitation as well.  Every mistake is illuminated by this piercing sound.

Eyes on hands, she plays the first page flawlessly.  Her confidence reflects the hours she's spent carefully learning each note.

Suddenly she hesitates, the constant click giving her away...her eyes betraying her.  As she looks from the keys to the music, she muddles through the B section.  

Determination on her face, a sigh on her lips, persistence in her heart, she keeps playing as the metronome speeds ahead of her.  And suddenly, without warning, the metronome fades into the background, hidden by the precise notes.  

Realities of Daily Submission

"In many ways, God sized dreaming is more about an attitude than an action.  It's living with an ongoing yes to whatever God asks of you."

-Holley Gerth-

Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream

As I read these words during morning devotions, I found myself thinking about what that really looks like in my life...

Saying yes to God for whatever He has for my life, the ongoing yes, seems so easy in the beginning.  It's almost like falling in love...the thrill of the unknown...the excitement that newness brings with it...the never-ending anticipation...

First Day

The first day of school is finally ending for me.  It's been an awesome day, but exhausting since it wasn't over until 10:30 (an hour and a half past my school bedtime, for those that don't know). On top of leading an after school choir, teaching piano lessons daily, after school meetings, yoga, mid-week Bible study prep, programs for each grade level, volunteer opportunities, race training, my writing project, and any other random things that comes my way during the week, I've joined a choir on Monday nights this year. 

I know it sounds crazy to try to squeeze one more thing in, but I haven't sung in a choir since I moved to Dallas three years ago.  It's a part of a who I am, and I'm trying to save that part of me from completely dying.  After leaving rehearsal tonight, I am convinced I'm making the right decision to be singing again!  Rehearsal ran like a college choir rehearsal, he labeled my voice as "dark chocolate", and neither my vocal chords nor my sight reading skills are as rusty as I'd feared- JOYLIST!  Here's to Christmas music in the fall, musical growth and professional development!  I would love for this chorale to be my chance to dust the cobwebs off and vocally grow so that I might eventually audition for a professional chorus in the area.

My evening as a first day student went well, but my morning as teacher went even better.  As usual, I didn't sleep well last night and I had the jitters most of the day.  I have never been more excited about a school year than I am this one!  There are several reasons I believe this to be so, but one of those reasons is that I had a total life perspective shift this summer...

Nature Baby

This weekend was the last weekend of summer, so naturally I packed in one more trip to see dear friends.  My trip to visit was much overdue, and it wasn't until I saw them that I realized how much I've missed them.

Rosemarie, or Mz. Wag as I still call her, was my choir accompanist in college.  We quickly became friends and have been so for the past thirteen years.  She and her husband, Jim, are very dear to me.  The weekend consisted of catching up, good food, nature, naps, a movie, church, more catching up and more sleep.  It was wonderful!  I couldn't have picked a better way to end this summer and begin the school year.

The Waggoners have a beautifully landscaped garden, on the lake, complete with every animal, insect and bug you can imagine.  I encountered a family of deer on my morning jog, cranes inching into the water and a huge dead snake on the side of the road.  Hummingbirds graced their windows as squirrels lept through the trees.  Watching each of these animals made me feel very much a part of life, realizing how significant I am in my insignificance.

  As I sat on dock reading and writing yesterday,

Carry On!

Tonight before bed, I was reading the poetry of one of my favorites, Robert Service. I am currently in the process and planning of a couple of major ventures that seem impossible. I know that God is a God of the impossible and not just the difficult, but when I think about the particular projects I'm currently involved in, I know I can't do them in my own strength. Because of this, doubt creeps in as my faith waivers.

The following poem really hit home. If you find yourself, or have ever found yourself, wanting to give up because the path you're on seems difficult, perhaps even impossible, be encouraged today by
the words of another...

Life Calling

On Sunday mornings I lead a small-group Bible study with my friend, Karena.  In conjunction with our group, this summer I am participating in Priscilla Shirer's Bible study, Gideon, with the women's ministry at my church.  The theme of this powerfully written study is, "Your weakness. God's strength."  If you are looking for a good Bible study to do, this is it!

Last Wednesday night the presenter had us chart out the following: our weaknesses; our calling/God's purpose for our lives; what we need from God; and our goals (as they relate).  This didn't present too much difficulty for me.  I strongly feel that God is currently in the process of aligning things in my life for big changes in the near future.  I can visibly see how He has me training for plans He whispered to me years ago.  Because of this, these four categories are regularly in the forefront of my thinking.

This week I had to jump ahead a lesson, because Karena and I were given the opportunity to present last night's session to the group .  As we met to combine our ideas and make a plan, I started feeling myself being challenged by the chart I made last week.  

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

I like to think of myself as a strong person.  I moved out of my parents' house twelve years ago and have lived the past seven of those years without a roommate.  Anything that's required in my life, from finances to washing machine repairs, I do myself.  I have grown quite adapt at taking care of every detail in my day-to-day life, including the emotion stresses of it all.  I know the strength this requires.  Although it is not all done to perfection, and I do have a small circle of people I have to call on to help me at times, I do pretty well on my own, all things considered.  I take pride in my independence, in the fact that I can do things without the help of others.      

Sweet Surrender

Today has been a REALLY long day. It's 9 PM and I'm just getting home.  I worked 1/2 day, drove an hour each way to the hospital, spent the afternoon with my grandad, who's in ICU, and my parents, taught five piano lessons and went on a wild goose chase to four stores in an unsuccessful attempt to find a new power cord for my router. I am physically and emotionally drained. 

My heart is heavy as I type.  My parents are set to leave in less than two months, my only living grandparent is in ICU and has had a rough day, emotions are high among all the extended family, the current events make me miss my Grandmother- who at the time of her death, six years ago, was my best friend - and I'm coming home to an empty house for what seems like forever. 

Today, as I've questioned God, argued with Him, and struggled to rest in both His prescence and promise, He has gently reminded me once again of my time with my niece. 

Nothing Lasts

"I was thinking how nothing lasts, and what a shame that is."

-Benjamin Button-

Got a text after lunch today that my only living grandparent, Granddaddy, had been in a car accident, had a heart attack and was being rushed to the hospital.

Today I...

10,000 Reasons

"The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning

It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes"

-Matt Redman, "10,000 Reasons"- 

I am not a huge fan of modern choruses.  Hymns get my vote 100% of the time; I think they are full of sustainable "meat" and not "fluff".  But, every once in a while a chorus will come along that really hits me.  "10,000 Reasons" is one of those- it has been playing on my iPod and in my head for about three weeks now.  If you're unfamiliar with it, click the link to hear it.

Even though each dawning day brings with it a new song, I find that in my life it seems to carry with it the refrain of yesterday as well.  

Life Lesson Plans

Twenty five.  The number of teaching days left in this school year.  I am counting down, as is every kid  at my school.  I know this by their actions.  The end is in sight and they are checking out.

Many of my upper grade classes have recently decided the following: they don't have to do what they are told; my instructions are negotiable; and that they are too cool for our music lessons.  I undersand this attitude, to a degree, but it is contagious and if I don't nip it in the bud quickly, pretty soon I'm going to have a coup d'état take place in my classroom.  As dramatic as that may sound, step into a fifth grade class full of peer pressure, insecurity and strong personalities with attitude and you'll quickly realize that I'm outnumbered! ☺

Only the Lonely

Sometimes it's just a fleeting thought.

It is often a sudden jab in the gut.  

There are moments that it is a physical ripping in the chest.  

And, on rare occasion it is a crippling emotion that overtakes the senses.

No Greater Love

Wow! What a heavy week this has turned out to be.  So much pain and suffering in such bold print across our nation these last few days.  As I have tried to shake the heaviness of it all, I am continually reminded of Christ and His love for us.

Come to the Table

Thanks to my friend, Kristina, I read a blog post today written by one of my favorite modern authors. After multiple conversations over dinner with dear friends these past few weeks, this post puts words to how my heart feels.

The following is taken from Storyline Blog and was written by Shauna Niequist.  Click the links to read more from her!

A New Approach to the Table

Cleaning House

I was able to see my childhood pen-pal last month when she and I both ended up in LA at the same time (Head in the Clouds).  She and her husband are both musicians and are conducting workshops in Fort Worth this weekend and lucky for me, they opted to stay at my place!  As a result, this evening has consisted of preparations for company this weekend.  

Drawing a Blank

I set out blogging with the intention of disciplining myself to writing something everyday, whether it be good or bad, interesting or boring.  My purpose was to turn my thoughts into words on a daily basis.  This goal makes me really focus on the people, thoughts, words, events, etc. of my daily life.  Having a desire to write about life helps me to actually FOCUS on MY life.  With that said, I was reminded today at school that it has been a couple of days since I’ve blogged.

Clear the Stage

They played this at my church this morning.

"Anything I put before my God is an idol

Anything I want with all my heart is an idol

And anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol

And anything that I give all my love is an idol"

Hidden In Sight

“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 

For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened." -Luke 11:9-10

My kindergarteners have this music game they love called, "Turtle, Turtle".  One student hides a stuffed turtle somewhere in the room and another student looks for it.  The clues are given by which dynamic the class sings.  If they sing the little song loudly (forte), the searcher is close to the hidden turtle, but if they sing quietly (piano), the searcher is far away.

Picking Thorns

A few weeks ago I went hiking in CA with my brother and sister-in-law (Head In the Clouds).  At one point, while crossing a stream, I slipped.  I quickly put my hands in front of me to break my fall.  My ego was a little hurt, but that seemed to be all...at the time.  

Serendipitous Treasures

Community.  Life Together.  Laughter.

Growth.  Bearing Burdens.  Love.

Encouragement.  Connection.  Acceptance.

Things we all desire.  Things we all need.